Ups & Downs

We speak so much of our beautiful, strong daughter but what goes on behind the scenes is sometimes missed.  In fact, because we adore our children so much, the supposition of anything bad happening or things not turning out as planned are the nightmares that haunt our every waking moment.  Not that we focus on those moments or give them any validity whatsoever, but the fact that those thoughts exist, creates a tension that compromises our ability to stay positive sometimes.  It's like an emotional war of good against evil going on inside our heads.  As I've talked about in older posts, we learn to focus and concentrate on the positive things.  We have to.  As parents, dwelling on the negative would be nothing short of maddening.  Life is a complex series of events that creates a unique chain, like everyone has there own life DNA.  Each one being completely unique, full of memories both good and bad from start to finish.  We take our individual stories and we filter what we want to keep and purge what we don't.  We will have a lot of purging to do as we work towards Macey getting better.  But there is a lot of good that will be experienced for an eternity.  The entire string of events from the day Macey was diagnosed has taken a toll on our family but has also strengthened us and brought us all even closer.  We have seen friends step up and do some amazing things.  We have seen family put their lives on hold to help us.  We have seen people come out of the woodwork, people we don't even know show their love and support.  Life is really about living and loving isn't it?  No matter how we do it, just the fact that we all get a chance to is the most precious thing this universe has to offer.  As we continue to keep our minds looking at Macey's recovery, we will hold on to all of the love, support, memories and special moments that make our lives meaningful.  We still don't know why this happened to us or why our sweet daughter has to endure such a horrible thing.  I would never wish such a thing on anyone ever.  I watch my wife struggle with emotion and I watch each and everyone of my daughters have good days and bad days.  But how can I or anyone possibly complain?  I think about what Macey is going through and it wakes me up.  I don't have time to complain or pout.  I have to be strong for my daughter who is the one going through this. 

We all hope and pray each day for small miracles and signs of improvement.  Macey has done so well but we still are working on her weakness and ability to walk.  It's been so frustrating for her, but she has made some great improvements. 

These are the thoughts that go through my mind each day.  I don't care who you are, you are going to have weak moments and down days.  It's to be expected.  We have them but we try and avoid them.  We continue to fight this thing and we won't stop until it's completely gone and Macey is well. 

Thanks for listening to me.  I normally blog about Macey but felt it fair to let you all know how it effects our family.  We'll continue to update you as she progresses through physical therapy. 

Happy Holidays to Everyone..