My family thinks about Macey every second. We are still so stricken with grief it has made day to day life very difficult to handle. Our family feels different and that wonderful chemistry that we shared as a group has been altered with the loss of our daughter. We all feel as though we are living in an alternate existence now and still can't believe this has all happened. It shouldn't of happened and we struggle with why us, why our family and why our precious daughter. Macey was a light to this world and without her here it's become a darker place. We find strength in each others love and support and without each other I think we would all surely be lost. Anyway, I think about her often, write things down about her many days, don't share them all but wrote this last night. It's not complicated or deep, just a glimpse into how I was feeling and continue to feel.
WHY
Why can't we have you
To dry away our tears
Why can't we see you
To ease or loss and fears
Why can't we hold you
The sun will rise again
Why can't we love you
Break the news to your friends
Why can't we hug you
And smell your sweet perfume
Why can't we see your smile
It lights up every room
Why can't we laugh with you
Until it hurts inside
Why can't we tell the world
You're still here and alive
Why can't we have one more chance
To see you in the morning
Why can't we sit with you
And talk until it's boring
Why can't we share the little things
The significance wouldn't matter
Why can't we cry with you
As you climb up life's big ladder
Why does it have to be this way
We'd do anything for one more day
Why can't we see you soon
When the setting sun brings the moon
Why is this world such a cruel place
It takes away and gives no slack
Why can't we have just one more day
I promise we'll give you back.
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Tragic end to a beautiful Life.
Our beautiful, sweet daughter passed away May 13th, 2013 at approx 3pm. She was surrounded by her entire loving family.
As you will read from the start of this blog, our family and Macey had nothing but hope, even though we knew we were faced with a very ugly cancer that had a very grim prognosis. It didn't matter, we instilled a continual sense of hope and encouragement and never once did we tell Macey that she didn't have a chance. We would never want her to feel that this could beat her. And it showed, she stayed so positive and so strong. Macey just wanted to get better. It was her dream to walk again. We would have taken her with the walking issue. We would have taken her in any form. We just didn't want her to go. But all of the wanting and the hoping, praying and loving in the world wasn't enough to save her.
We are devastated and hurt. Worse, is that Macey didn't get a chance to live her life, get married, have kids and watch her family grow up and grow old together. Tragic is an understatement.
We will miss our loving daughter every second for the rest of our lives. We had her obituary posted if you want to look at it. It also mentions the place and times for her funeral.
Thanks to everyone who followed her blog, shared with the love and support for my daughter and for all of the outpouring of love and support from so many people. Macey and my entire family are immeasurably thankful.
Macey's Obituary
As you will read from the start of this blog, our family and Macey had nothing but hope, even though we knew we were faced with a very ugly cancer that had a very grim prognosis. It didn't matter, we instilled a continual sense of hope and encouragement and never once did we tell Macey that she didn't have a chance. We would never want her to feel that this could beat her. And it showed, she stayed so positive and so strong. Macey just wanted to get better. It was her dream to walk again. We would have taken her with the walking issue. We would have taken her in any form. We just didn't want her to go. But all of the wanting and the hoping, praying and loving in the world wasn't enough to save her.
We are devastated and hurt. Worse, is that Macey didn't get a chance to live her life, get married, have kids and watch her family grow up and grow old together. Tragic is an understatement.
We will miss our loving daughter every second for the rest of our lives. We had her obituary posted if you want to look at it. It also mentions the place and times for her funeral.
Thanks to everyone who followed her blog, shared with the love and support for my daughter and for all of the outpouring of love and support from so many people. Macey and my entire family are immeasurably thankful.
Macey's Obituary
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Rough Road Ahead
So as some of you have watched on Facebook, Macey started a series of treatments with an intravenous drug called Avastin. This is supposed to help her overall and now it's really needed. Macey has become so weak and can hardly sit upright now and has a hard time eating, swallowing and talking. The latest MRI shows lots of changes but they are unsure if it's from the radiation or from new tumor growth. The doctors said nothing too alarming because if it's tumors, they don't look very big? What? We know from the past scans that if Macey has any tumor growth that these SOB's are aggressive. They grow very fast and we are hoping this is not the case. Most of the problems now are centered around the base of her brain and some of them track down the neuro-fibers that go down towards the base of her brain. Worse is they interfere with her motor functions and you can see the changes in her. Dramatic changes. Changes that worry us sick and have left us all with a feeling of discontent and uneasiness.
If you have been praying for Macey we appreciate it but also want to tell everyone to increase their prayers and hopes for her. She is not doing well and you can see it in her physically and emotionally. My family is having such a hard time dealing with all of this but most importantly, Macey, our beautiful daughter is the one trapped in this seemingly winless battle with a disease that is unrelenting.
My Sister flew in again to see Macey this week and if we can work anyone in interested, you should come see her. Please be patient though as Macey's condition, and our moods change by the hour and there are some days when we just don't have the ability to be social and have company. We do want you all to see her though.
These treatments are really the last hope for our daughter. If she doesn't respond, the scenario is grim. We've never been negative about her situation and will to fight and live, but this thing doesn't play fair. Her chances with this Avastin are about 50/50. The Docs don't know for sure, and no one knows the prognosis or the outcome, other than it being critical and leaning towards the "not good" side of things. We will continue to stay strong, help Macey fight and most importantly try and keep her happy and strong in what quality of life she has left.
We all love you Macey and we will rally around you sweetie. We will work ourselves to death trying to keep you comfortable and happy. No matter what, in this life or the next, our love for you will be unyielding and forever ubiquitous. It's hard for you to read, or talk right now, but writing it, I know somehow, some way you'll see it and understand.
Thank you everyone for your continued support and efforts.
All our love, the Steckelberg's.
If you have been praying for Macey we appreciate it but also want to tell everyone to increase their prayers and hopes for her. She is not doing well and you can see it in her physically and emotionally. My family is having such a hard time dealing with all of this but most importantly, Macey, our beautiful daughter is the one trapped in this seemingly winless battle with a disease that is unrelenting.
My Sister flew in again to see Macey this week and if we can work anyone in interested, you should come see her. Please be patient though as Macey's condition, and our moods change by the hour and there are some days when we just don't have the ability to be social and have company. We do want you all to see her though.
These treatments are really the last hope for our daughter. If she doesn't respond, the scenario is grim. We've never been negative about her situation and will to fight and live, but this thing doesn't play fair. Her chances with this Avastin are about 50/50. The Docs don't know for sure, and no one knows the prognosis or the outcome, other than it being critical and leaning towards the "not good" side of things. We will continue to stay strong, help Macey fight and most importantly try and keep her happy and strong in what quality of life she has left.
We all love you Macey and we will rally around you sweetie. We will work ourselves to death trying to keep you comfortable and happy. No matter what, in this life or the next, our love for you will be unyielding and forever ubiquitous. It's hard for you to read, or talk right now, but writing it, I know somehow, some way you'll see it and understand.
Thank you everyone for your continued support and efforts.
All our love, the Steckelberg's.
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Updated Donation Information
Hi everyone,
we thought we would add the chipin link again. It expires and we don't realize it. Again, thanks to those that have donated. Your contributions have been helpful beyond words. We are very thankful as a family that there are so many thoughtful people in the world. And for the record, beyond any kind of monetary donation, your prayers are a huge spiritual donation that means just as much to us. Thank you for keeping Macey in your thoughts and prayers.
Macey is doing ok. She is still weak, can only sit up in her wheelchair and cannot really do anything else on her own. My poor wife struggles daily when I am at work lifting her in and out of her chair to try and help Macey with her needs and it is physically demanding and very difficult. You have to remember that Angie is only 5'-3" and Macey is 5'-6" and about 120 pounds. Amazingly though, somehow Angie finds the strength to lift her in and out of her chair and does such an amazing job with her. I fear for her health, her back and her emotional state on a daily basis though. We are all strong as a family, but we all continue to teeter on that cliff, on the edge, of literal sanity.
We hope this year brings better things for Macey. She needs a break. She needs time to heal and get some rehabilitation. We hope this cancer leaves her alone. Here's to a great new year.
we thought we would add the chipin link again. It expires and we don't realize it. Again, thanks to those that have donated. Your contributions have been helpful beyond words. We are very thankful as a family that there are so many thoughtful people in the world. And for the record, beyond any kind of monetary donation, your prayers are a huge spiritual donation that means just as much to us. Thank you for keeping Macey in your thoughts and prayers.
Macey is doing ok. She is still weak, can only sit up in her wheelchair and cannot really do anything else on her own. My poor wife struggles daily when I am at work lifting her in and out of her chair to try and help Macey with her needs and it is physically demanding and very difficult. You have to remember that Angie is only 5'-3" and Macey is 5'-6" and about 120 pounds. Amazingly though, somehow Angie finds the strength to lift her in and out of her chair and does such an amazing job with her. I fear for her health, her back and her emotional state on a daily basis though. We are all strong as a family, but we all continue to teeter on that cliff, on the edge, of literal sanity.
We hope this year brings better things for Macey. She needs a break. She needs time to heal and get some rehabilitation. We hope this cancer leaves her alone. Here's to a great new year.
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